FACT: Asexuals have an instinctive ability to understand time travel.
Most of them are Time Lords, so this is to be expected.
FACT: 3D glasses and HD vision are actually inventions by asexuals, created for non asexuals, so they can see the world asexuals do.
Asexuals have hyper-realistic eye sight, and are able to see things 3420x better than other sexes. Colors are more vivid and details are more sharp. And so, by creating those tools, everyone may temporarily experience what being a asexual is like and how they see things.
If someone is both asexual and wears glasses it is due to an unfortunate side affect that occurs in a small number of aces where the hyper-realistic vision gets too much. These glasses are specially crafted to allow the ace to see as a non-asexual person see, providing short term relief.
FACT: All asexuals are made bakery inspector at birth. There is a baking official at every maternity unit to hand out the certification documents.
FACT: All asexuals must watch The Fellowship of The Ring at least once every two years. If they do not, they will explode.
This is far more tragic than most people realise. Many Aces don’t like LOTR, but as we like exploding far less it becomes necessary for our survival to endure it.
FACT: All asexuals are secretly Time Lords who somehow escaped the Time War
SHIT! They’re onto us!
FACT: Asexual people have an inexplicable attraction to rainbows. However, this is commonly thought by many scientists and sexuality theologists to occur from the lack of internal rainbow.
The rainbow deficiency is actually a serious condition.
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